Odds and ends.

This blog post is going to be a whole range of thoughts which are going through my mind at the moment. Random, and I’m aiming to not go in depth with them.

# I still fear that he is in the house or outside, which unfortunately keeps him on my mind.

# I always get choral passages stuck in my head after carols, and feel disappointed that the home audience miss out on the full musical experience of CBC.

# I worry that mum may regret coming back to Oz for Christmas.

# The last episode of The Slap made me cry, I really hope they further the storylines, it really was an engrossing watch!

# I’m continually planning what I’m going to teach on the first three days of school next year.

# I really hope I don’t stuff it up. (Teaching, life, all that’s between).

# I aim to lose 40kg. Christmas isn’t helping.

# I really would love a boyfriend right now (A loyal, honest one!)

# Fly me to the moon could possibly be my wedding dance number…. Sinatra style!

# I really hope this year brings us equal marriage rights in Australia.

# I wish I had the capital to start up my own magazine for weddings.

# I wish I had a sense of connection with my family, other than my mum. I also wish I didn’t have this wish at times.

# I would like my dog to Shut. UP!

# Tino’s necklace really sums up who I am.

# Tino’s necklace makes me feel like I should keep pushing forward with music.

# I want to be singing a solo/duet at Carols one year.

# There was far too much smoking in The Slap.

# I think my mine is empty now. “think”.

Drunk texting

It happened. The phone vibrated, blaring out a noise at an hour unwanted, a jumble of letters which aren’t wanted or clearly thought out to be meaningful.

Yet the words are raw. Raw and honest. “I want you”. “I love you”.

The message mustn’t have gotten through, you know, the one where I broke your heart.

So many messages of drunken persuasion fly around at all hours of the day, with the sole purpose of being taken to heart, because the message contained is of the nature which can’t be shared any other time. Be it for fear of the truth or response you would get, or be it for the need to get something off your chest.

The rules which previously applied don’t matter any more, if something is seemingly humorous at the time, you’ll send it to your friends, confusing the hell out of them. If something has been on your mind for a minute, day, week or month, then the truth will come out at this moment of weakness.

It’s happened to me, and I analyzed the feelings at the time, and all I can say is this, don’t let alcohol fuel your message if you really want to achieve anything, man up, and say it to the persons face.

Gay male teachers and Paedophilia

During my exam week at uni, I called out for people to give me suggestions on what to write about. I received only one response.

Why not write about you becoming a teacher so you can be closer to young boys. From what we have heard around town you are a bit of a pedo in training. Luck of the drawer that i came across your blog, you are a sick individual. If even half of what i have heard is true you should be taken to an island somewhere and slowly and painfully put to death. You are a sicko!

I can say, I only felt sadness when I read this. At first I was going to write a blog that first rebutted what this person had said, then I was going to disspell the myth of gay male teachers as being paedophiles, however after many days and nights thinking about how to properly approach this feedback, I think I’ve finally decided on what to say in response, as I do not believe that this comment requires time, nor effort.

First assignment

I’m on the train heading into Melbourne to hand in my first assignment of the course. ICT.

Essentially, how technology was used in the classroom.

I’m hoping that it’s a pass, or more, I’d like more, but I’m happy with a pass.

I had forgotten just how hard it can be to structure your sentences properly and make your writing a captivating (but also academic style) piece of work.

I am not surprised that a lot of my friends aren’t really in touch with me now, my schedule is so full with placements, classes, readings, assignments, and coming up with lesson ideas (and writing each one up which equates to roughly 2,000 words for each lesson, and I have to do a minimum of 10 lessons!)
I just flat and plainly don’t have time for them. Not if I want to get some sleep.

I have stopped clubbing (except for holidays), and I’m only doing my choir on Saturday’s as my sole extracurricular activity.

I have had to change who I was, to become a better student. This course is a lot to me, I want to do well for myself, but more so for my future students.

I’m going to be working incredibly hard for the next who-ever-knows-how-long. But that makes me happy.

I will attempt to stay in touch with my friends, as they do mean the world to me, but I do need to be able to support myself in the future.

So how do I feel after 4 weeks, 3 lessons, and 1 assignment?

Tired, but really good.

This is what I want to do with my life.

I want to be a Primary School Teacher.

Back to the first again….

And so it begins….

Today I’m heading back to Uni, I’m doing my Masters of Teaching (Primary) at Melb Uni.

It’s an intensive course and I’m hoping to do the best that I can do, which means that clubbing isn’t going to be happening for me. I’m going to miss the bass pummelling through my body and the dance moves which could only make wall flowers and deaf people laugh at. Actually some of the moves I’ve pulled have made me and everyone else laugh as well.

It’s scary. I’m on the train like I used to be, it feels like the graveyard shift, ironically this now starts at the times of 7am through to 8.15.
The only benefit to this is the attractive people who are on the train. My how fashion is changing for the better!

Well, I’d better go before the guy sleeping next to me starts to drool!

Till we meet again.
Kxoxoxox

One night entertainment

This is the time,
The first encounter,
The only chance you get,

We’ll talk the night away,
Have some laughs,
Make a suggestion or two,
But never to be again,

Your the one night stand,
Without ever meeting,
You will never take my hand,

Hope will be made,
Dreams will be had,
But over all,
It’s truely just sad,

This is your one night entertainment,
You never know what you’ll get,
In a world full of strangers,
Who just haven’t logged on yet.

I’d rather have hope

I’d rather have hope,
Even for just one night,
That night when we spoke into the moonlight,
We confessed our dreams,
Our interests,
Our love,
But now it’s over,
Perhaps for just a night.

I’d rather have hope,
Instead of despare,
When we made sure we’d be there,
Forever trapped,
Forever there,
Even for just one moment,
Where nothing seemed lost,
Until the next time,
Which just didn’t come.

I’d rather have hope,
Than just give you up,
Even though I know you want me too,
I won’t,
I can’t,
You push me to the limits,
You know it’s true,
But you made me a better person,
Didn’t you?

I’d rather have hope,
Than to have never dreamt a dream,
A world without imagination,
Doesn’t seem,
Doesn’t seem,
Like a place where I could grow,
Where nobody knows,

I’d rather live in hope,
Than have dreams without you,
Occupying mind,
Invading the soul,
Which now is the only place,
You can call home.

Times Change

It’s hard to pinpoint what created social change, especially recently.

I was talking to a taxi driver last night, and he said that in the three years that he’s been in Australia, the country that he first saw, has changed dramatically to what it is today. I’ve noticed the same thing, but I’d say it started to change more around 2004/2005.

People are becoming much more aggressive, dismissive of others, and just plain old disgusting.

It feels like the social issues which people had to experience back back in the 1970′s and 80′s have reemerged.

News stories have started to focus on more entertainment style stories, and on top of that there is a preference for shows about murder and crime scenes. Not saying that everything should become taboo but surely there should be some good light hearted entertainment shows along with the current ugly that we’ve been presented with?

Just saying that there needs to be something done before the whole idea of hope and inspiration evaporates.

There’s an ‘s’ that belongs there!

Lately I’ve had a lot of people incorrectly spell my name. More so than has happened in the last 5 years.

If I were to graph it, it would blow your mind, but because of my awesome skills as a data analysis not being utilised currently, I can’t give accurate numbers.

First most spelling mistakes came because I have a K at the start of my name, so being called Christian isn’t uncommon for me. The K is so important to me that I will order a Pizza and when they ask what name please, I always say Kristian with a K. Even though it doesn’t matter to me that much, as I won’t see it, I just want that K to be important for me, it’s my name. MY name.

But lately, there has been a massive spike in people missing the ‘S’ in my name. So I’ve become Kritian, or Cretin essentially. I don’t want to be cretin, nor do I want to be Kritian. THE ‘S’ IS IMPORTANT!

Everyone is allowed to make a spelling mistake, I know I do all the time, but I always try to spell someone’s name correctly.

Wanted:

Wanted:
One boyfriend, in good condition, laughs, lives, doesn’t sweat the small stuff, accepts me for who I am, doesn’t cheat.

Wanted:
One laptop, works very well, doesn’t blow up.

Wanted:
Time. Lost in moments when held up in traffic and on public transport.

Wanted:
Music, I just can’t get enough.

Wanted:
More queer characters on TV, more queer storylines.

Wanted:
Home and away and neighours taken off the air. Creates false sense of reality and also steals peoples time.

Wanted:
More festive holidays, there needs to be more good cheer in the world.

Wanted:
A world which doesn’t have to worry about climate change. Must save penguins.

Wanted:
Sleep. I lost mine, could I get yours?

Wanted:
Ability for all people to fulfill their dreams and aspirations without costs.

Wanted:
An instant cure for sunburn and the cancer it causes. Sunburn hurts, cancer kills, this isn’t a good thing.

Wanted:
Movies to stop talking about money, make quality movies and you’ll make more money than you currently do.

Wanted:
Chance to act with Meryl Streep. Make it happen.

Wanted:
Duets and music collaborations. Doesn’t matter who as long as we make music which sounds magical.